It’s too hard, too much work, too expensive, too scary…
2015 was about putting excuses to rest. I wanted to live 2015 without fear of failure and with the attitude that anything is possible; that we have to do all that we can while we can, because we are never promised a tomorrow, or we might not know what that tomorrow will bring. My life has been filled with dreams, some that were broken, and many that came true. In the shadows of my dreams were those ideas that I always thought were too big, too much to even dream of. Those ideas that I believed I could never accomplish, so I refused to let them into the light of my “dreams and wishes” fantasies. I ignored them, because I believed them to be impossible.
Since childhood, I dreamed of traveling the world, living and going to school or working in another country. Since I was a teenager, that dream was stuffed into the shadows, labeled as impossible. In 2013, I decided to bring that dream out of the shadows, and make it a reality. Was it hard? Yes, of course. And it was scary, expensive, and took me away from my family. But it was also one of the most amazing things I have ever done in my life. It was an experience that taught me more about myself, more about living, than anything ever has before.
My time abroad ended suddenly when my dad died. Have I regretted that I was away when this happened? Yes. Have I regretted that I wasn’t there with him for what would end up being his last ten months of life? Yes. But does that mean that I wouldn’t do it all over again if I had the chance? I’m not so sure.
My dad, through his life, and now through his death, always taught me that I could and should do anything I wanted. He taught me that anything was possible and that hard work can get you to your goals. Losing him has proved that life is meant to be lived while you can, in the way that allows you to be true to who you are. My whole life my dad has been the one encouraging me, pushing me, and believing in me. I still feel him beside me, being that constant pillar of strength and support.
So, in 2015 I have been so fortunate to be surrounded by people who believe in me, like Dad did, and who also realize that we should do what we can, while we can.
Running a full marathon?
I could never do that. That idea lurked way at the back in the shadows of my hopes and dreams. I rarely let it see the light, and fear and self-doubt would always quickly push it back into the shadows. In January of 2015, I began training for a full marathon. On May 17, 2015, Carly and I crossed the finish line of the Halifax Blue Nose full marathon. I did it.
Being a farmer?
Well, that one was always just silly. My family doesn’t farm, so how would this ever even make sense to be a dream of mine? I had become independent and a world-traveler. I wasn’t sure the small-town life was for me anymore. In the fall of 2015, I learned to operate both a swather and a combine. I still have a lot to learn, but I have found my partner in life, and he is a farmer who is helping me to become one, too. I did it.
Driving a motorcycle
No! This one is just way too scary, too hard, too impossible. Travis was convinced I could do it. He never doubted me. Even after dropping his bike more times than I can count, he still always picked me back up and told me to keep trying. It seemed impossible. On October 21, 2015, I got my Learner’s license for driving a motorcycle. I did it!
Scary, time-consuming, and expensive. Something I would never really have the time or money for, so why even dream of it? In 2015 I completed the classroom components of the PADI certification for becoming an open-diver, and I am scheduled to complete my training dives in February of 2016. I did it!
Traveling is still a dream I have, one that I know will always be a part of my life. I am lucky to have found a partner and companion in life who will share these dreams with me, who will work with me towards making these dreams come true. We have two dream-come-true trips coming up in 2016, that are all about doing what we can while we can. To me, this means living without fear, of being true to myself, and of loving those closest to me with all that I can!
Happy New Year!